👣 WALK YOUR TALK with Amy
A Weekly Dose of Truth, Freedom & Love
"I don't need to be mother fu*king mother Theresa."
She came in wanting to stop being so angry.
I just had one of those coaching sessions that left an impression.
My client came in filled with anger and hatred directed at her partner.
And she HATED it.
She basically wanted me to help her make it STOP.
But we didn't try to make anything stop.
We didn't try to turn the anger into gratitude, compassion or forgiveness.
We sat together with what was actually there for her.
And what was there was wildly uncomfortable.
Hatred. Anger. Rage. Grief.
What if the emotion you hate isn't the problem?
This is one of the biggest things I've learned after coaching hundreds of women.
We are so quick to judge ourselves for how we feel.
I shouldn't be this angry.
I should just be grateful.
I shouldn't say mean things.
I should control my reaction.
What's wrong with me?
So now we're not only angry. We're angry that we're angry.
We're suffering inside AND then judging ourselves for suffering which only brings more suffering!
And then we wonder why the emotion won't go away. 🤦🏻♀️
An emotion that feels judged or shamed will cling on for dear life.
So instead of trying to rescue my client from her hatred, we let her feel it in her body.
And then we listened to what it had to say WITHOUT the judgment.
And it revealed the deeply painful belief underneath it all.
I’m never enough for anyone.
That belief went all the way back to her five year old self and it was the most painful of all.
So we stayed there. We didn't rush out of it.
We allowed it to exist without immediately being labeled wrong, bad, inappropriate or unacceptable.
And once we did that, something started to shift inside of her.
She saw the performance so clearly.
She realized how much of her life had been spent trying to figure out the "right" way to be in order to receive love, affection and validation.
If something didn't work? She’d try harder.
If they didn’t understand, she’d say it differently.
If someone seemed inconvenienced she’d approach it differently.
She spent her entire life being nicer, calmer, explaining it better.
It always fell on her shoulders to figure out what SHE needed to do differently to create a different response from the other person.
And then she had this realization:
Maybe I don't need to perform anymore.
Maybe pretending I'm fine when I'm furious is the performance.
And then came my favorite line of the entire session:
"Maybe I don't need to be motherfu*king Mother Teresa."
YES. There it was. Her breakthrough moment.
There was something so powerful about watching her arrive there.
She wasn't suddenly happy.
Her relationship problems hadn't magically disappeared.
There was this strength in her because, for a moment, she stopped fighting herself. She was PRESENT, Grounded, Solid.
She stopped trying to become the woman she thought she SHOULD be and allowed herself to acknowledge the woman she actually was in that moment.
Angry. Hurt. Frustrated. Fu*king DONE.
Not pretty, but truthful.
Your bad behavior is a messenger. Listen.
When your only goal is to STOP BEING ANGRY you miss the most important piece.
There’s vital information in that emotion that NEEDS to be heard by YOU.
And until you get present with it and listen it will continue to cause pain.
Information like….
▪️ you've been tolerating something for too long.
▪️ a boundary keeps getting crossed.
▪️ you're trying desperately to get love or validation from someone who isn't giving it.
▪️ the relationship you're fighting so hard to save isn't aligned for you anymore.
Maybe your anger isn't the problem.
Maybe it's trying desperately to get your attention.
And maybe instead of judging yourself for how you're behaving, you need to get curious about WHY.
So where are YOU performing?
Where are you pretending to be fine when you're not?
Where are you forcing yourself to be nice, agreeable or understanding when something inside of you is screaming THIS IS NOT OKAY?
Where are you judging yourself for being angry instead of listening to what your anger has to say?
This isn't permission to treat people badly.
It's permission to stop beating yourself up for being human.
Because sometimes the breakthrough isn't becoming calmer, nicer or more forgiving.
Sometimes the breakthrough is finally being willing to sit with the anger you hate feeling.
And then listen.
Because underneath that anger might be the exact information you need to make your next move.
So this week, stop trying so hard to perform your way into being the "better" person.
You don't have to be perfect.
You don't have to be endlessly understanding.
And you sure as hell don't have to be Mother Teresa.
You just have to be willing to tell yourself the truth.
With love,
Amy
💌 Invitations 💌
1️⃣ 🎧 This Week’s Listen + Tap Along
Feeling angry, frustrated or completely DONE with your kids or partner? Tap along with me as we use EFT to move through the anger instead of judging it, stuffing it down or pretending you're fine.
👉 Tap Along With Me: EFT Tapping for the Angry Mom →
2️⃣ Join me IN PERSON for a calming 60-minute EFT Tapping Meditation designed to help you feel more peaceful, grounded, and clear inside. You’ll leave feeling lighter, calmer, and more at ease.
📍 Quantum Wellness, Bedminster, NJ
📅 Sept 12 | 12 PM
