👣 WALK YOUR TALK with Amy
A Weekly Dose of Truth, Freedom & Love
I Ate the Damn Pizza 🍕
I almost said no to something I really wanted.
Last weekend, a friend and I went to the Jazz & Blues Festival in Morristown, NJ.
We had done our proper research beforehand and had a whole list of restaurants, shops and places we wanted to check out.
We were walking down South Street when I look up and see Coniglio’s.
I’d heard about this pizza place several times before.
Then I noticed a couple sitting outside eating pizza that looked DELICIOUS.
So naturally, I asked them how the pizza was and the woman told us they had driven about 45 minutes just to try it.
She started showing me the two different pies they’d ordered.
One had THREE sauces. Tomato, Vodka and Pesto. Yum!
I looked at it and said something like, “Oh my God, that looks so good.”
And she said: “Would you like a slice?”
And without skipping a beat I replied, “No, no, no. I couldn’t possibly take your pizza.”
She offered a second time to me and my friend, “Seriously. We’re never going to eat all of this. Have a slice.”
And AGAIN I refuse the offer saying, "No, no, no. Thank you. I couldn’t."
My friend and I were literally about to walk away when I caught myself refusing something I actually wanted.
WAIT. I actually did WANT the pizza. What if I just said YES?
In a split second I changed my answer.
I turned back around and said, “You know what? I actually will take that slice. I’m going to say yes. Thank you.”
And she cut me a slice of the three-sauce pizza I had been gawking at.
I stood there and ate it and we all continued to talk.
And yes… It was pretty darn delicious.
But something much bigger was happening for me in that moment.
A stranger was offering me something delicious that I actually wanted, wanting nothing in return, and it felt wildly uncomfortable!
BUT WHY? 🤔
We do this ALL THE TIME as women.
I see this constantly in the women I coach.
They're incredibly capable women. High-functioning, High-achieving, Caretakers, Mothers, Philanthropists, and Leaders.
These women run their entire worlds both personally and professionally without skipping a beat.
They give, help, fix and manage everything for everyone and they're GREAT at it.
As a matter of fact they're so GREAT at it that their entire identity is shaped around their endless giving to others.
Giving is their greatest strength.
Receiving, though.... their biggest weakness, completely foreign for most!
Giving is easy. Receiving is vulnerable.
I think this is the part we don’t talk about enough as women.
Why are we so quick to take care of others but won’t let anyone take care of us?
Giving keeps us in the driver’s seat. It’s a form of CONTROL.
So long as I am helping you, taking care of you and inconveniencing myself for you, I’m a good person and you can’t think anything other than that of me.
But allowing another person to inconvenience themselves for ME?
Oh hell no!
Because to receive a kindness and offer nothing in return means I’m... indebted, needy or a burden of some sort.
It threatens my Superwoman persona and I can’t have people out there thinking I actually have needs or desires!
And for women who have spent decades building an identity around needing absolutely nothing from anyone, receiving can feel incredibly UNSAFE.
So we keep doing everything ourselves, refuse the kindness and resent the hell out of everyone.
See the problem?
And then we wonder why nobody helps us.
Ooooh this one might sting a little but it needs to be said.
How many times have you thought or said...
"Nobody helps me" (my all time personal favorite. this one has slipped out of my mouth more times than I can count.)
"I have to do everything around here."
"It all falls on me."
How many times have you thought these things and WISHED someone would anticipate your needs just ONCE?
But here’s the question I want us to consider.
How many times DID someone offer to help and you automatically said NO?
“You're not feeling well. What can I bring you?”
"Nothing, I can take care of myself."
“Can I carry that for you, miss?”
"Nope. I'm good. I've got this 50lb bag of... just fine."
(I actually said this to a 250lb muscular clerk at Home Depot)
“I'd like to buy you dinner.”
"No, I don't want you to spend your hard earned money on me." (my best friend actually said this to me on her birthday)
We say NO so quickly we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
And over time, we create this Superwoman persona that tells everyone around us:
⭐️ Don’t worry about me. I need nothing. I want nothing. I can handle everything myself.
And guess what? Eventually people believe us and stop offering.
Ouch!
What if people actually WANT to be good to you?
That slice of pizza reminded me of something.
There are people who get genuine pleasure from giving to someone else.
Sometimes, a complete stranger genuinely just wants to give you a slice of pizza. No strings attached. 🍕
You don’t owe her anything.
You can simply say:
YES. Thank you. And receive. Ahhhhh.
⭐️ What if the life you keep dreaming about where you don’t have to carry everything alone is already trying to show up in small ways?
And you keep saying NO to it!
Your challenge this week is to SAY YES.
For the next seven days, I want you to pay attention to every single time someone offers you something.
Every small gesture. Anyone making your life even 1% easier that day.
Someone holds a door for you, gives you a compliment, extends an invitation, offers to pick up your kids or carry something to your car.
And when you hear that automatic NO response about to come out of your mouth, catch it in your mind first. 🫢
PAUSE, BREATHE, and then say YES, thank you.
That is it.
Let somebody take care of YOU for once.
And don’t immediately scramble to pay them back.
Receive it. Feel the discomfort and do it anyway.
⭐️ Because saying YES is an act of courage when you've spent your whole life proving you need absolutely nothing from no one.
So this week be willing to do something different and if someone offers you a slice of pizza and it looks delicious...
Eat the Damn Pizza. 🍕
Then hit reply and tell me all about it!
I especially want to hear from you if receiving it made you wildly uncomfortable.
That means its working!
With love, Amy
💌 Invitations 💌
1️⃣ 🎧 This Week’s Listen
I joined Jess DeMarchis on The Art and Skill of Coaching Podcast to talk about why trauma-informed coaching isn’t therapy, and what changes when we understand what’s actually underneath people-pleasing, perfectionism and self-sabotage.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts →
2️⃣ Join me IN PERSON for a calming 60-minute EFT Tapping Meditation designed to help you feel more peaceful, grounded, and clear inside. You’ll leave feeling lighter, calmer, and more at ease.
📍 Quantum Wellness, Bedminster, NJ
📅 Sept 12 | 12 PM
