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A Weekly Dose of Truth, Freedom & Love
Holiday Boundaries That Protect Your Peace
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s also the time when your time, money, and emotional energy are stretched thinner than ever.
Family gatherings. Endless gift buying. School events. Travel. Obligations that show up out of nowhere. The pressure to make everything perfect for everyone else.
It’s enough to make your head spin.
So this week, I want to bring you back home to yourself with something that every woman needs during the holidays but very few give themselves permission to have.
Boundaries.
Not boundaries that are harsh or defensive. Boundaries that are Confident. Clear. Supportive. Honest.
In Teri Cole’s book, Boundary Boss, she says that boundaries are your own rules of engagement. They teach people how to treat you based on what is and isn’t okay for you.
And Dr. Becky Kennedy (my fave parenting coach right now!) defines a boundary as:
“A decision you’ve given yourself permission to have.” and that YOU uphold.
So many women wait for someone else to give her the permission or set her boundary for her. They wait for the right tone, the right moment, the right reaction. They wait until they feel “strong enough,” “confident enough,” or “less guilty.”
Boundaries don’t come after confidence. They create confidence.
They create safety inside your own body — which is something the holiday season tends to skew.
Here are the three areas that will support you the most this holiday season:
1. Money Spending
Set a spending limit that supports your peace, not your guilt.
A boundary sounds like:
“I’m keeping gifts simple this year.”
“We’re staying within our budget.”
"We're sending cards this year and won't be gift giving."
A non-boundary:
“I’ll grab a few more things so no one feels disappointed.”
"I can use my credit card, I suppose."
2. Family Gatherings
You are allowed to choose when you arrive, when you leave, how long you stay, and whether you bring your own car.
A boundary:
“We’ll stay until 6pm, then head home.”
“I’m taking my own car so I can leave when I need to.”
A non-boundary:
“We have to stay past midnight to open gifts with my parents.”
And that brings me to something personal…
My own holiday boundary this year
I’m hosting the annual family Christmas gathering this year for my mom’s side. Thirty-five people, sometimes more. I'm excited to host it and show off my brand new basement renovation!
And yet, I have one boundary this year that I’ve been wrestling with.
You might laugh, but it’s this:
I want everyone to take their shoes off at the door. 🥾
We don’t wear shoes in our house. But every year when we’re in other people’s homes, everyone keeps theirs on. It never crossed my mind that I could simply request this in my home… until writing this newsletter.
I realized: This is my boundary. I’m allowed to have it! And now I’m preparing a spot for shoes, organizing the entryway, and planning around it.
Sometimes the smallest boundary reveals how much permission we’ve been denying ourselves.
3. Conversations You Don’t Want to Have
You do not owe anyone any personal information.
You do not have to explain yourself.
You do not have to sit through conversations that feel draining or intrusive.
A boundary:
“I’m not discussing that today, so how is..... (change subject quickly)”
“That topic doesn’t feel good for me. I'm going to go play with the kids.”
🚽 Go to the bathroom. Excuse yourself from the table. (this is my personal go-to when politics and gossip come up at the big, drunk family table. Its so simple and easy to do.)
A non-boundary:
Answering because you feel guilty or afraid of disappointing someone.
Sitting at a table and participating in a conversation that feels uncomfortable for you.
You don’t need to apologize for protecting your peace.
Reflection for the Week
- Where am I spending money, time, or emotional energy out of guilt instead of choice?
- What boundary would support my peace this holiday season — even if it feels uncomfortable at first?
You have permission to honor yourself, love yourself, take care of your wellness. You always have. Hit reply and share your answers. I love hearing from you.
Boundaries are the ultimate gift of self-love this holiday ❤️.
🎁 December Givings
1️⃣ If your anxiety flares the moment you try to set a boundary, grab my free EFT for Releasing Anxiety guide. It works fast and gives your nervous system the immediate calm you need to hold your ground with confidence.
2️⃣ Want an IN PERSON experience Tonight to release holiday stress calm the nervous system, and return to joyful presence?
🎅 EFT- Tapping- Letting Go of Holiday Overwhelm & Inviting Joy
📍 Quantum Wellness, Bedminster, NJ
📅 December 3 | 7 PM
3️⃣ Join me LIVE this Thursday, December 4 @ 10am ET for "Boundaries For the Holidays". LIVE Talk + Q&A inside FREE Facebook Community, Confidence thru Emotional Mastery.
4️⃣ 🔦 SPOTLIGHT: If one of your holiday boundaries is protecting your peace at home, my friend and organizing expert Lisa Zaslow is hosting a live virtual workshop on Thursday, December 11 at 5pm ET to help you create calm long before the guests arrive. The first six people who email her at 📧 lisa@gothamorganizers.com get in completely free, which is a beautiful way to honor yourself this season.
