👣 WALK YOUR TALK with Amy
A Weekly Dose of Truth, Freedom & Love
🎁 The SAD Truth About This Time of Year
Oh. It is the most wonderful time of the year. Or is it?
For so many women in my world, this is the time of year when they feel the saddest. Many are feeling alone. Old trauma bubbles up. Family dynamics get loud inside the body. And there is this overwhelming pressure to be joyful and grateful. If you are not feeling that, you might feel guilt or shame or confusion about why everyone else seems fine.
Take a slow breath with me, Drop your shoulders, Let your jaw soften.
You are NOT alone.
Here is what we know. Research shows that about 5 percent of adults in the United States experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) during the fall and winter months. Another 10 to 20 percent experience a milder winter blues pattern. 80% of those affected are women!
It makes sense. Sunlight decreases. Darkness increases. The weather changes our routines. We stay indoors more, we move less. Our nervous system feels the shift.
And that is only the biological side.
There is also the history.
There is the truth that childhood experiences around the holidays get stored in the body.
The nervous system remembers what the mind forgets.
Smells. Colors. Songs. Decorations.
There is no other time of year with this many sensory triggers.
So if you are feeling sad or tired or heavy or lonely, it does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you have a human body that stores memories and meaning of the holiday season.
You are not alone in this. I am right here with you. And so is this community.
🦃 Self Compassion for Thanksgiving Instead of Forcing Gratitude
Some of you are carrying very real emotional burdens right now.
One of my clients is caring for a husband whose health is declining.
Another just lost a patient.
Others are navigating depression, anxiety, or SAD.
Many are holding grief from childhood that gets louder this time of year.
And some are doing the work to live free… and feel disappointed that it isn’t happening faster.
Everywhere you look you hear gratitude.
Be grateful. Write a gratitude list. Feel grateful.
But if you are hurting, sad or simply bored, that pressure can make you feel worse.
This is where self- compassion matters.
Self compassion is not a soft skill. It's the bridge to real gratitude and the doorway to hope and possibility.
Self compassion says...
I see why I hurt. I hear what my body is telling me. I understand why the holidays feel heavy. This makes sense and I am not alone.
When you meet your feelings with this kind of understanding, something releases, your body softens, your breath deepens and your mind opens to new ideas and new traditions.
This is where healing begins, confidence grows and change happens.
This is when you come home to yourself again.
True gratitude roots and rises from within when you give yourself permission to feel what is real and release the pressure to feel something that isn't.
📖 My Story and How I Changed My Holiday SAD Pattern
Something you may not know about me. I lived with depression, anger, and SAD, for more than 40 years of my life.
Every single year I prepared for it. I expected it. I affirmed it.
I told myself the story that I get depressed during the holidays.
"This is how it is for me, this is how I am."
I used to plan for it and around it. I dreaded it.
I would make fewer plans, isolate and retreat to my room a lot and lay in bed.
Then 2019 happened and my entire inner world cracked open. I began the deep work of healing childhood trauma. I finally saw the truth of what I was actually holding onto that was causing me to suffer.
I was holding on to two things for a long time.
First, the picture-perfect big, loud Italian family holidays I grew up with. Thirty people in a room. Cousins everywhere. My nanny cooking for everyone. That was my childhood version of belonging and worth. As the family grew up and spread across the country, the gatherings faded. The invitations stopped. I felt left out. Forgotten.
Second, my divorce. My ex-husband had a big family and our home became the party house. Loud. Packed. Always full. When that ended, I decided small intimate holidays weren’t “enough.”
I was stuck in a story of what the holidays & family life was supposed to be and when I couldn't provide that for my kids I believed I was failing them.
My kids were happy and excited on Christmas morning.
I could not see it.
I missed out on entire holidays because of this stuck belief system.
After my healing work, I released the grief around this old story and something BIG shifted.
I decided I could create something new.
I decided small could be meaningful.
I decided quiet could be beautiful.
I decided that me and my kids for the holidays could be enough for me and for them and this changed EVERYTHING.
Thoughts are choices when you become aware of them and with NEW awareness comes NEW freedom.
⭐️ Creating Your Own Traditions.
Letting Yourself Try Something New
One thing that changed everything for me was giving myself permission to do things differently.
For example, we stopped making turkey on Thanksgiving.
My kids do not like turkey. They love steak & seafood. So now, that is what we eat. It is simple & feels special to us.
This year I am changing Christmas pajamas.
My entire life the tradition was to give them on Christmas Eve.
But that gives us only one night to enjoy them.
So this year I am giving Christmas pajamas on Thanksgiving.
Why not enjoy them the whole season?
Why not play with the idea instead of being chained to the old one?
Traditions can evolve when you evolve.
🤔 Curiosity Instead of Pressure
A New Way to Connect This Year
Here is something interesting my family and I will be doing this holiday season and I invite you to check it out.
Psychology Today published an article about the “Do You Know” 20 Questions. These are questions designed to help families actually connect.
Questions like...
Do you know where your parents grew up?
Do you know what your mother worried about as a child?
Do you know the story of a major challenge your family overcame?
Curiosity builds connection, softens loneliness and is a form of compassion itself.
If your holidays stress is around dreading the conversations- try bringing curiosity to the table this year. Ask one or two of these questions. It might open a door you did not expect.
I type, print, cut and fold these questions into a jar for us to pass around and take turns answering as we eat our thanksgiving dinner. I have been doing some form of this for years now and the kids love it and look forward to it.
🧠 Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself this season....
1️⃣ What would change for you if you focused on self compassion instead of forced gratitude?
2️⃣ What is one small thing you can let go of this holiday season that no longer serves you?
3️⃣ What is one small thing you can try this holiday season that can bring more fun, joy or connection to you and your family?
Hit reply and share with me. I love hearing from you.
Happy Thanksgiving. And for the record, I am grateful for each and every one of you. For being here and for trusting me with your heart and mind.
In loving gratitude, 🙏
Amy XO
💌 A Special Invitation If you are feeling the weight of this season,
I want to offer you Something real.
Something that actually supports you.
Something that meets you right where you're at today.
The greatest gift you could give yourself this holiday season is the Support you need.
Real emotional support.
Real nervous system support.
Real space to be seen and be held while you navigate the heaviest time of the year into the new year.
I have one spot left in my 6 month one to one coaching container.
One spot for a woman who is ready to stop carrying everything alone.
One spot for a woman who wants to rewrite her story and create new ways of living, loving, and leading herself through the hard moments.
One spot for a woman who is ready for safety, clarity, confidence, and emotional freedom.
And because it is Black Friday season, this spot comes with 2 special bonuses.
⭐️ 2 Bonus Monthly Sessions to support you further when the container is completed AND
⭐️ An entire weekend immersion experience with me designed to help you release old patterns and step into a new chapter with strength and self trust.
If this speaks to you, do not wait.
Book your clarity call and claim this final spot before it’s gone and before the year turns.
My rates increase in January and this offer will never be available again after Cyber Monday.
If your gut is pulling you toward this, trust it.
This is your moment. Caim it!
